On the Brink of 2014

It's The Eve.

i heart eves more than the-days.

the anticipation of celebration ...

for me, tomorrow, that means the end of "the holidays". and the feet first launch into the journey.

i've been whispering it here and there. feeling it out i reckon. certainly feels like i've been gaining incredible support so far.

 so i'm doing it.

i reckon i'm gonna have to start SHOUTING IT! ...and getting ready for it. 

i've never felt quite this way about any other pursuit in my life.

On New Year's Eve 2013, i sat out in my pasture with my husband, my dear sister, and my brother-in-law. I had two wee peeps tucked warmly inside the cabin as we sat around the fire. We chatted, we pledged...well, at least i did. I dedicated 2013 to Optimal Performance. In many ways I feel i lived up to it.

i set goals, and squashed 'em!

• take Betty x-country skiing at least 2x week- check
• 19 sun salutations per day - mostly check
• 5 miles by the time i left Florida - check
• Run from Ring Lake to my house - check
• Sun Salutation for every Boston Marathon bombing victim - check
• Run to Spring Ranch - check
• Run from Jeff and Erica's to my parents - never tried it
• Ride my bike with the kids to EVR at least 3 times - check
• Ride bike over Togwotee Pass - check
• Ride bike to Lander - check
• 25 push-ups a day - not so much
• 2 pull-ups by Christmas - nope
• Ride bike up Union Pass - check
• Ride bike Mill Rift to Cummins Hill - never attempted
• Have an Art Show - check
• Sell Art - check (what?!?!?!?)

So what?

exactly.

That's not exactly Optimal Performance - but it is along the path.

Just like La Madre isn't graceful....but she is growing in grace constantly.

That is simply rebuilding my default.

2 pregnancies and 2 C-sections kinda rocked me. In ways i never dreamed would befell me.

So what was all that Optimal Performance talk? I think it is La Madre's partner.

I think they are going to intersect at the finish line at Antelope Wells.

i'm just plain 'ol becki burnett (neidens). affectionately referred to as "Chunk" by my high school coaches, and "tuffi" from my childhood friends. my college buddies referred to me as "the Cold Hearted Snake". for a while i wore the title of "Boss Lady" and i have no inclination what people call me now....but...

i'm gonna ride my bike. 

from Canada to Mexico.

the summer i turn 40 (2016)

Since i'm not hitting my prime until 62, i have no idea where on the spectrum of "performance" this may fall.

My incredible dear friend once gave me advise that I continue to adhere to:

  "Sometimes", she said, "you just have to hold your breath and jump."

   The summer i ride my bike, she will most likely earn her black belt. 

Before the Bowl Games End

Game On, I reckon. 
La Madre is re-emerging. 
At first, I thought I'd write "making a comeback"' but it's not a comeback, she's been dwelling about quite happily all along. Just taking an extraordinary amount of time to simply live, which slurped up all the time for formal reflection and writing.
I keep putting it off. "After the holidays" I say as I pour another rich dark beer into a frosty mug.
She won't let me get away with it. 
She says "Do it now. Start today. Putting it off is a pansy thing to do."
La Madre has had 15 months of practicing her life with her two wee peeps - now she's ready to play.
Game on.

And so I offer my first post back, with a toast to my scrumptious Sessions Black Ale! 
The holidays are not over yet.

Hurdles

Last night I sat up from savasana. Like directly from lying down after my practice, to rolling on to my side, to pressing myself up to "close to" a comfortable seat. I wanted to scream and shout and let everyone know about my accomplishment. I'm sure my OM was a bit heavy and overindulgent. i have not been able to do that since Devlin was born. In fact, there have been some sessions that I never made it at all into my "comfortable seat". The pain would either take the breath away that I had just spent 1.5 hours refining, or incapacitate my transition from lying to sitting. But last night, I effing DID IT.

I have been working. Not as  dilligiently as I wish I could, but as dilligently as I am able. I cross country ski with Crit.  I was in the habit of 19 sun salutations a day...now i do one every hour on the hour...although that has recently morphed into push-ups and plank variations. I run when I can. I've been on my bike. I've quit beers a couple of times. I juice. I eat well (with an occasional overdose on bread and cheese). I've tried to embrace my role as La Madre... without a "job", without an income...

Last night, sitting up, made so much seem worth it. I get it. It's not about me right now. But, holy hell - something has to be about me. I can't help them grow if I'm not growing....and I haven't been able to identify major fields of growth within myself lately. That is kinda what I've hung my hat on for the past decade. I am a dynamic woman. Never allowing any dust to settle or any moss to grow. I'm suddenly (at least it feels kinda sudden) thrust into a different warped world. I think I might see the value in a little moss - it is rather exquisite   to view, and I want my wee peeps to trust that I am reliable and constant...but it does not seem to suit me that well. I made a life commitment to growth long ago, and have held myself true to it. I realize, the trials and tribulations of each and everyday right now, are contributing to some sort of growth (I sure as hell have a new perspective on patience - which has irony since I've spent the past decade working with children diagnosed with ADHD).

I don't want to just "make it till 8:00pm" every night. I want substance. I want accomplishment. I want this to be part of a bigger picture.

And it will be. I am confident. I must learn to trust my new patience. I must continue to find moments and opportunities as i have been. I must celebrate the successes. I must continue to grow....but if i accessorize with a smidge of vibrant green moss, that might be a rather fabulous outcome as well.

Detox Staycation

La Madre y muneca's morning fresh air

Bags are full and waiting patiently at the door. They were supposed to be loaded into the car this morning and in Denver this evening. So were we. All of us but the dogs. We failed. La Madre got halted. I reckon it'll be a good thing in the end. Now, Muneca, Notch, and LM are participating in a cleansing. We are detoxifying everything about us. Crud has been lingering since we got back from Christmas. It's all getting flushed out.

LM devoted 2013 to Optimal Performance. It has been an interesting beginning. Lots of lessons in failed plans and "making the best of it". A great deal of successes too.

Holidays were fab. Lasted from Halloween till Schmullski and Jeffski left. Scaled back considerably since then. Crit and i have been out for several skis and a bike ride or two. Deb-ul been in my pack and on the bike. Got a few yoga classes in. Chalet is coming along. Went to the Village, snowboarded at Targhee and even went for a back-country run with Daddio up Two Ocean. Stronger and stronger everyday...yet miles to go before i sleep.

and i got my first client

and i love coaching

Just working through clearing out some congestion and LM should be in good shape!